Self - Sabotage

Imagery by Vanessa Lovos

I set myself up for failure…

When I was 18 I started working part-time at a Sunglass Hut inside a local mall. I remember making minimum wage, and the little I made would go towards a new pair of sunglasses more often than it should have. I wouldn’t think about gas money, food, let along actually saving some of that money. Fast forward to today, so many years later, I still have a drawer with more than 10 pairs of designer shade that, at the time, maybe brought me temporary… satisfaction, filled a void for a second, but did nothing else for me, yes, I had the latest styles and it may have been cool for a minute but what else? And that is just a tiny glimpse at how I’ve always lived my life, I can’t help to think had I saved my money then, maybe my car would be paid off, or my student loans, perhaps by now so many years after, I would have enough money for a down payment to get a house…

The crazy thing is, I have learned nothing! Now that I make way more than I used to back when I was 18 I spend even more! I guess where I’m trying to get at is, how much is too much? Is it all worth it? Do we ever really NEED the things we spend our money on or is it just to fill a void for a very short amount of time?

I have literally gotten a second job many times in my life to be able to afford something I’ve really wanted, while I think that shows determination or dedication, whatever you want to call it, I also feel like I’m feeding a beast inside of me that will never be satisfied, almost as if I’m enabling an addiction to some degree…

Shop the Post: